Lady Lee

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Posts by Lady Lee

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  21

  Really Need To Talk

  by Moridin in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i really need to talk and try to get some things out.

  i am one of the managers at a local fast food restaraunt.

  we live in a quiet town and on friday night after one in the morning one of my employees and i went outside to take out the trash.

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  Lady Lee

  Moridin

  Please check with your police department. Many of them have Crisis Units that will provide trauma counseling for victims of crime. It is usually free. Go... and give this information to this girl and the rest of your staff.

  Expect that for a while you will be having a hard time emotionally and maybe even physically. This is normal. Trauma (and this was a traumatic experience) affects people in different ways. Talking about it helps - a lot. By talking about it you are able to process the experience and try to fit in into some kind of world view although I think most of us have a hard time doing that when it comes to an attack like this.

  You may have nightmares and flashbacks - seeing it happen all over again. This too is normal and will pass in time. The more you talk and process it the easier it will be to deal with. Bottling it up often results in Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. If you can't find anyone to talk to then write it down - even talking out loud to yourself is better than bottling it up. Get all the support you can. You might want to consider all of your staff sitting down and talking about this together. Going through a trauma with others and then talking about it can help all of you collectively and individually. Don't push them but certainly encourage them.

  Take care of yourself physically as well/ Make sure you are eating and sleeping even if the dreams start. Try doing relaxation exercises or visualizations to help you sleep. And if you need medications for a few weeks thendon't be afraid to use it. Trauma can put a load on us physically and emtionally.

  Feel free to contact me if you need some more information
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  104

  Elders' Gems of Wisdom

  by stephenw20 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my dad asked the co about this one.

  mat 27:52-53. and the graves were opened; and many bodies of the saints which slept arose, .

  and came out of the graves after his resurrection, and went into the holy city, and appeared unto many.

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  Lady Lee

  Just remembered a another one.We had a couple of elders in the congregation that would get very nervous. They were both very nice men so we felt very bad for them.

  One would button up and unbutton his jacket. Over and over and over. We would count the times he would do this to help us pass the time and then the giggling would start as he broke old records.

  The second elder would hmmm... how to say this politely.... well there would be a bulge... yup he got an erection every time he got up there. And for a while we had a podium that he could not hide behind. Wonder if that is why they got a new one? We were all embarrassed for him and it was so har.. difficult not to look - his jacket and parts were strained - giggling just thinking about it. Nope not a prude even then... I looked

  Some of us thought that maybe after he married that he wouldn't have this problem but nope that wasn't the solution.

  Then we sat there wondering why she married him and if size had anything to do with it
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  104

  Elders' Gems of Wisdom

  by stephenw20 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my dad asked the co about this one.

  mat 27:52-53. and the graves were opened; and many bodies of the saints which slept arose, .

  and came out of the graves after his resurrection, and went into the holy city, and appeared unto many.

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  Lady Lee

  oh my gawd - just read this and had the tears rolling down my face

  As a sign language interpreter I had the opportunity to trian others in the congregation to become interpreters. Some people were pretty good and some were terrible. One elder who decided to join in always looked like he was signing backwards. He was so difficult to watch that the deaf group preferred to ask others to sign.

  One lovely single sister actually quite well. But sometimes her words were a little off.For those of you who don't know sign language used particular signs for whole words. If there is no sign for the word it is spelled out. Well she had been assigned to interpret the Sunday Talk. About half way through the talk a few of the deaf brothers were looking around questionningly wondering what the talk was about. Since I usually sat in the deaf section or near to it they started asking me what the talk was about. I sat and watched the interpreter to see what the problem was.

  Bro: In these circumstances it is important for us to remember that...

  Interpreter: In these circumcisions it is important for us to remember that....

  Ok so now that I see the problem I tell the deaf brothers that she has a sign wrong. Well flurry of hands waving to the rest of the group to tell them to substitute circumcisions for circumstance. Then they start waving to her to tell her that she has a sign wrong. But she is a nervous type sister and quickly loses what she is doing and can't understand what the problem is. Every one settles down and she finishes the talk with circumcisions.

  I had to take her aside at the end and explain what the problem was. Took her weeks to want to get back up to interpret again.
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  6

  What response would i get

  by toddy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  what response should i expect when speaking to jehovahs witnesses about pagan origins,especially wedding rings,baptism and using the modern day calender?

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  Lady Lee

  You could check here to find out what their ideas are

  http://www.watchtower.org/archives/index.htm#world_affairs
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  25

  Do you consider yourself an ex-JW?

  by Introspection in

  1. watchtower
  2. medical

  i'm gonna go for the direct approach here.

  it's kind of strange to identify yourself as an ex- anything, to define yourself using a former identity as a point of reference, one that is no longer.

  in some cases you might use it to clarify your relationship, (i'm jane's ex-husband, or whatever) but again it gets weird.. i mean we don't think of ourselves as ex-kindergarteners or something do we?

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  Lady Lee

  Well Intro - just re-read what you posted and it got me thinking

  <<<I said how you see life (your personal philosophy and world view) is not as important as living it, not how we live it.>>>

  HOW I live my life is very important to me. Not that I sit down each day to consider my philosophy for the day but rather that I live each day in a way that I can feel good about. I hate regrets. They get you nowhere. Living honestly and being true to myself and my beliefs are an important aspects of how I live my life. My daily experiences become a part of my life history and what I believe about those experiences form a part of my contuing identity development.

  I am more than the sum of my experiences. I am more than simply what I believe about those experiences. But I am too busy living life to sit and philosophize about it except on here - Thanks Intro

  A not-so-silent lamb
  
  Aspire to inspire before you expire
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  9

  Is There a New Ex-JW?

  by TMS in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this quote from another thread:.

  mr. brumley "the worst thing for us is a well educated balanced former witness" they are used to the foaming at the mouth rabid apostates of years past.

  they do not know what to do with reasonable well spoken individuals like you.. .

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  Lady Lee

  Kismet

  My sentiments exactly
  thank you

  A not-so-silent lamb
  
  Aspire to inspire before you expire
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  29

  non-jw family might hire jw nanny--r we crazy?

  by fred in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  we are a non-jw family with 2 kids under 5 thinking about hiring a jw live in nanny.

  she is in her 30's, active jw.

  we all have talked about mutual respect for each others religions, and all agreed to a hands off policy.

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  Lady Lee

  Oh my gawd - does this ever trigger stuff for me

  I know of a couple who has hired my mother of all people to babysit their kids when they go out of town.

  She looks good on the outside but I can't think of another person I would want to have look after my kids less than my mother.

  Everybody thinks she is wonderful - dresses nicely - speaks well but she hates children.

  She told me that she does talk to the kids that she cares for about her beliefs. She will not celebrate holidays with them. She does not take them to meetings but she gives them books - WT books.

  My mother abused every one of her kids. severely abused. I got my last beating from her when I was 17 - right before she got me out of the house. When I was 12 she put me into foster care. When my first brother was 13 she gave him to our abuser father. When the next 2 boys were 15 she threw them both out of the house. When my sister was 14 she threw her out.

  She called us names and beat the crap out of every one of us and used the Bible to justify it. Not one of us have a good relationship with her. 3 of us never or rarely speak to her.

  Fortunately not all JWs are as bad as her. But all JWs are taught to to use the "rod of discipline" meaning they will hit. Will they hit your child? Do you want to test that out?

  My daughter, who remembers how nasty her grandmother was to her, has never allowed her daughter to be alone with my mother. Smart woman - my girl. And neither daughter want anything to do with their grandmother.

  No (((HUGS))) required

  A not-so-silent lamb
  
  Aspire to inspire before you expire
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  2

  15 minutes of fame?

  by eyeslice in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  has anyone here had their experience printed in any of the publications or their photo used in an encouraging illustration (field service, answering at meetings, etc.)?.

  the reason i ask is that often public talk outlines make references to experiences, but on occasions a note is sent by the society to the effect not to include a certain experience.

  presumably, this erasing from history is because the person referred to in the original outline is no longer in good standing or perhaps wasnt as saintly as originally made out.

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  Lady Lee

  I've been in the media - newspapers TV radio magazines and done a video on JW sexual abuse and cults - all way better and way more honest than the WT publications

  does that count - in total waaaay more than 15 minutes

  A not-so-silent lamb
  
  Aspire to inspire before you expire
• 
  47

  finally got my thoughts gathered to share......

  by scootergirl in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i am relatively new to the board and have to say have never had such a heartwarming welcome from so many people!

  it feels so comforting to make new friends that "understand" where i have come from.. i have read many many stories, and have sat back in awe....wow, what stories.

  mine is quite simple, but none-the-less my story.

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  Lady Lee

  (((Christy))) You have come a long way. No matter how much healing we do it is always hard to tell our story. Take some special time for you and your family - seems you do that already.

  And if you are in Northern Minnesota we might not be that far from each other - I am in Winnipeg across the border

  A not-so-silent lamb
  
  Aspire to inspire before you expire
• 
  67

  Too much bad language, sex & pics

  by Simon in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  please can everyone think twice before they make posts containing bad language (even if not directed at individuals), graphic sex talk and nude or semi-nude pictures (especially if explicit).

  this is not what the forum is here for.

  if you want to post stuff like that then there are lots of places on the internet for it and, more importantly, if people want to see and read stuff like that then they are quite capable of going to these places themselves.. i know everyone likes to 'let their hair down' now and again, me included, and i like pictures of sexy women as much as anyone .

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  Lady Lee

  I don't ususally get into these discussions but quite frankly doesn't Simon have enough to do without setting up special x-rated boards for those who want to discuss such things.

  The way I see it:
  This board is meant to help people leave the WT Org. It is meant to help those who have already left - to heal, to find community, to share experiences, to share information.

  Yes, we were repressed while in the Org. And we have the right to express ourselves freely. But let me ask you. How many of you have family still "in"? How many of you would love for your family to leave? How many of you would love for your loved ones, friends and family, to come here and see what is really going on in the WT Org.

  And how many of you would want your family to see some of what is posted in here? Would it help them to see the truth about the WT Society? Would it help set them free or re-inforce the belief the Org teaches them that we are Satan's seed?

  There is a time and place for everything. This is a place where hopefully we can come to share openly. It is a place where hopefully those we left behind will come for the information they need to set themselves free.

  In the next few weeks and months many will be questioning the tactics of the WT org. People who are related to JWs and some JWs themselves will come here. Maybe your mother or father or sister. Maybe your best friend who you miss so much. What do you want them to read here? What do you want them to know about you and your present life?

  If I was trying to help someone get free of the org I would not invite them to my home and then expose myself to them. I would not share information about my sexlife - that is private. I would not sit in front of tham and swear at people around them. I would be considerate of their fears and all those implanted phobias. I don't even share those things with my best friends. Why should I do it in front of people I want to help.

  But my parents would not come here you might say? But...... what if they did?

  But they wouldn't know who I am? But.....many have posted their stories. It would not take a detective to figure out who I am by reading my story, if they knew me. If your story is in here somewhere there is a good chance they will know who you are.

  Setting up a private discussion board is easy. You can go to many places on the net, set up a closed board where your friends need a password to get in and post as much as you want. (They would have to be closed to have the content that some want).

  Simon thank you for your hard work.

  A not-so-silent lamb
  
  Aspire to inspire before you expire